I Told You So

I love inviting people to church. In fact, I do it daily. I ask God always, to show me where He wants me to be… teach me who He wants me to reach out to… show me what sort of connections He has predestined me to make. I love my church, and above all, I am passionate about my God. I crave for others to be sustained by the same peace, the same enveloping love, and the same motivation that I have, to know Him… intimately, at all times.

But, there’s one relationship in my life that I sort of allowed God take a backseat to. A close friendship, someone I assumed would never accept my invite to church, so I never asked. It wasn’t “her thing”, in my eyes. In fact, I was pretty sure she wouldn’t even take me seriously if I did. Her life is “full”; I knew her self-imposed strength would never allow her to feel weakened by the lack of His presence in her life. She’s the girl that everyone envies, because she “has it all”… she’s beautiful, smart, successful, strong.

In all the times that I asked God to show me who I was supposed to shine on, she was quickly dismissed from my mind. I almost would laugh… “God, really? No, no, no… that’s not happening.”

He reminded me over and over again that He would meet me at my expectation level. That, if I prayed for her, He would make it happen. I loved Him, I lived for Him, but somehow deep down, I had resigned myself to accept that she was someone that would never be moved by Him. Unless, of course, her life spiraled so out of control that she had nowhere else to go. So, I prayed for her – half-heartedly; out of obligation because it was the “right thing” to do. I didn’t believe it would happen, but I prayed for it anyway.

Have you ever been in a situation with one of your parents, where you KNOW what you’re supposed to do in a particular situation… they KNOW what you’re supposed to do… but no one says anything, because they know that the truth of the matter will be revealed to you in an “I told you so” moment?

Which, by the way, I loathe entirely. Especially if I’m not the one saying “I told you so”. Dumb.

So anyway, last night, I had an incredible “I told you so” moment with God.

When I got the text, asking for the name of my church, I felt God clear his throat, reminding me that He was there. I smiled, shook my head, and responded to her text.

When I told her Champion’s Centre, and asked her “how come?”… and she responded with nothing more than “I want to start going”… I felt God stretch, in the literal sense; nonchalantly, as if to say “yeah, she’s coming. It’s really no big deal. You can thank me later, daughter.”

I was sort of paralyzed at that moment - with a sense of shame, and amazement. How selfish of me to never ask Him to work in her life. How selfish of me to assume that He wasn’t strong enough to move in the lives of the most broken. How SMALL of me to assume that He wasn’t big enough to fill the hearts of even the people that didn’t know they hungered for Him.

I know she’s always believed in God, but something inside of her shifted… and she turned to me, in this realization.

Is it because I allowed my light to shine, even if from a distance? Am I really His hands, and His feet? Am I really the only glimpse of Jesus that people may ever see?

Yes. That’s who we are, and this is why.

The bottom line is, if I hadn’t resolved to living like He IS, than she never would have dialed me in her attempt to find Him. All of these years, she has been the one influencing others – in style, words, attitude and opinion. People looked to her, in search of these things. She’s a strong presence in this world.

Had I really been an influence… and hadn’t even realized it?

It reminds me of one of my favorite little quotes… “no amount of darkness can ever hide a sparkle of light.” No matter how small your light may feel when it’s oppressed by the ways of this world, don’t let it burn out. No matter how trivial your passion may feel, in a world so burdened with other things, don’t let it go. Don’t ever doubt Him, and His ability to reach the lost. Don’t ever put limits on His love. And most of all, don’t ever feel as if someone isn’t worth your prayers.

Give Him the credit He deserves.

A part of me knows that He thoroughly enjoyed proving me wrong last night. And that’s fine with me.